Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Goodnight From Guangzhou


It's a bittersweet night in Guangzhou. The kiddos are asleep and we are finishing up the packing. It drizzled all day today. As we walked the stone streets we realized this may be the last time we see this beautiful island. We tried to take it all in and enjoy the peace and quiet. We know the distractions will come as soon as we land on US soil. A friend told me this would be a beautiful time of bonding as a new family of four. I am so thankful Hoot came with me. We have experienced so much together as a family. I would have been sad if he missed it. We left as a happy family of three and we will return as a happy family of four! We are ready to come home, but we are sad too. This is a part of Libbie's past and her forever. We didn't visit the orphanage. We were too tired and didn't want to cry anymore. We didn't want to confuse her anymore than she already is. I know I have said it in previous posts, but it has been such a blessing to watch this little girl transform before our very eyes. She was a frail withdrawn little girl with such despair and fear in her eyes when we met her. Each day she has come out of her shell and we leave with a little ball of fire. While she still won't let me hold her, she does say mamma and blow me kisses if I am far enough away. I have enjoyed watching my husband change diapers, snuggle her and apply makeup.... things I never thought I would witness and all his manly dignity went right out the window as she wrapped him tighter and tighter around her little finger. She kisses him and throws the biggest fit if he shows ANYONE more attention than her. This will change when we get home and she begins to trust that he won't leave her. And Hoot.... what can I say??? Just amazing. It is truly a blessing to be his mommy. We could not be prouder of this little boy. He has prayed the most mature prayers while we've been here. He has been selfless and giving. He has had to share (which he's never had to do before) and he's done it with such a sweet spirit. He is so proud that his little Mei Mei loves him. He does however love to tell ANYONE who will listen, that his sissy doesn't like his mommy... He's told strangers on the elevator, waiters, doctors, cab drivers... you name it... The good thing about sissy not liking me right now is that I can shower him with my attention and he feels special. Lambert told me that come Friday morning, he is heading out and leaving me with her all day. He's going to take Hoot somewhere special so it will be me and her.... PRAY.. It's either sink or swim. Any tips would be most appreciative. i think she is coming around and I think that it's because I have kept a distance between her and I. I cheer her on and clap for her, but from a distance. I want her to come to me when she is ready and on her terms. I don't want to force myself on her. I am the one who took her from her nannies arms so she may see me as a threat. I catch her watching me when she doesn't know I can see her. She doesn't look away anymore, but she won't come to me. She will let me squirt sanitizer in her hands and lotion... but that's about it. Oh she will take food from me too..


All I know is that God is with me (us) even in China. He goes before us and prepares the way. He has a plan and He will accomplish it. He's not done with Libbie and He's not done with me.


Deuteronomy 31:8The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

Goodnight from Guangzhou,
Love the Lamberts

6 comments:

  1. Shelly,

    What a beautiful post!!! It has been a true gift to read of this journey for your family. Yes, God is walking before you. I am thrilled to hear that Libbie is blowing you kisses from a distance..that is a great first step. She will come around quickly once you are home I suspect.

    I am chuckling a little about Lambert and Hoot going off Friday to do something special and leaving you home with Libbie. I think y'all are going to be pretty jet lagged. I think all Dave and Will did has lay around the couch for a day or two.


    Kate has picked out some little gifts for Libbie and she asks every day when we go to the airport. We are so excited!!! See ya tomorrow:)

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  2. Shelly, WOW you are almost home. I know the bittersweet feeling of leaving China behind. Libbie has made such huge steps, and I truly believe once you are home she will come around as she will be relying on you more since things will not be as familiar to her. I will be praying for you on Friday! I know for us the best thing to do when we got home was try to stay on your regular time...do not go to bed right when you get home, wait until bedtime, hard, but it really helped me :)

    I am so excited to know Kim and Kate will be there to greet you tomorrow...praying for a safe flight home~

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  3. I have been out of town so just got to catch up. What an amazing journey!! I am so happy for you and can't wait to read about the miracles that happen in Libbie's little body. Praying for a safe journey home and that jetlag is kind to you :)

    Jennifer

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  4. I know how bitter sweet it must be to leave! I have so enjoyed and praised God for your story that has unfolded over the past two weeks. What a mighty God we serve!

    We are so excited to see you guys tomorrow! Love you and can't wait to hear all about it in person!!!

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  5. Precious, Shelly! I have a funny story to tell you when I see you next...can't wait! Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I feel so honored to have had a glimpse into your lives while they were changing so dramatically. God speed. Love and hugs!

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  6. Our daughter wanted nothing to do with me in China and the low point came when we were on the flight home for 14 + hours and she was sporting an ear infection unbeknownst to us at the time. She wouldn't let me touch her and screamed for all but about 2 hours of the flight. My husband had to hold her upright the entire trip and when we landed on US soil he finally had to go to the bathroom and handed her to me. She arched her body, thrashed until I thought I would drop her, so I put her down and she headed strait into the mens room after him before I could catch her. I grabbed a foot before she went totally in and by this time we had created quite a picture to the airport patrons..

    It looked like I had kidnaped this little girl.. she was Chinese, I wasn't. She wanted to do whatever it took to get away from me. It was at that point I wondered, "what have I done"?

    My husband did the kindest thing when we got home. He left and went back to work. After a day or so, he simply went back to work as usual and slowly but surely she accepted me. Suddenly she began to understand it was me - or no one!

    I can't tell you how close my daughter and I are today. She is the love of our lives and is nurturing, kind, and my right arm. Yours will be also.

    May God bless you and give you strength as you embark on this amazing journey of adoption.

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